New Perceptions And New Realities
by Jenny Black, Set Me Free Ministries Marketing Director
How is it that the older I get the more I hesitate to get involved, even in areas that I know the Lord to be calling me to? I panic and wonder, what if I am not enough? What if what I have been asked to do falls short of their expectations, what if I don’t get it, or, even worse, what if I get a big head because I do get it? How do I come to terms, make a decision, and stick with it, knowing that whatever is holding me back will work itself out? Hmmmm, what am I afraid of really? No, not rejection of man. The Lord has already had to bring me through dealing with that one. And at times, I have to repeat the course. No, for the most part, I know that it only matters that I please my Heavenly Father.
Ah ha! This is the first time I have felt a calling on my life to be a part of a ministry, a calling God has probably been working me into during this past year (maybe even ten years), but what if I fail God by waining in my responsibilities to what He has called me to do and be in HIM? Or what if like so many other things I have attempted, I become, God forbid, bored?
When God entrusted my kids (they have been my ministry) to me to raise and bring up in Him, in some ways it was easier because I knew what was expected of me as a mother. After all, they have tons of Christian books on parenting, and I had a great example in my mother. So how could I fail? And if I do say so myself, I do have great kids–not perfect, mind you, but we enjoy each other's company and laughing with each other. And in each of their hearts, they know the Lord, and they know right from wrong, and they know what this Christian life expects of them. So with the hand and direction of God, my mother, and Christian books, so far so good.
Now back to ministry abilities. I have to remember that it is not my abilities that matter here but my calling and giftings. If this is where God has called me, then it will be His abilities, not mine, that will be on display, because I know that I myself have nothing of value to give. It is all Him when I succeed! I just have to be willing to be obedient to hear His voice, see what He is showing me, and let Him direct my steps. Then if I am doing all of these with a humble attitude, it is all on His shoulders whether success in what He has called me to do prospers. Wow, what a revelation! That feels pretty good! It is all Him and not me. After all, I am just an imperfect vessel He has chosen to use.
Wow, I feel much better!