In My Weakness
by Stephanie Olson, Co-founder Set Me Free Ministries
Okay, here is my opportunity to become really vulnerable with you, yet again.
One of the “curses” I have had growing up is by outward appearance, people think that I have it all together. Now, please don’t misinterpret what I’m saying. I’m not saying that I look so amazing that it appears I couldn’t possibly have any problems. No, somehow I have always presented an air of confidence that isn't actually there, and the result is, people assume I don’t have struggles.
Now, some may say that I’m not open, and I hide my true emotions. Some may say that I’m not able to let people know the true me. But those who know me really well know that I can be, at times, almost too vulnerable. Those who know me very well recognize that sometimes I open up to people who may not be “safe” to open up to, and then I end up hurt. Ugh. What a dilemma.
The truth about me is that as a teacher and speaker, God doesn’t allow me to speak on anything that I haven’t walked through very intimately with Him. Sometimes I am on the other side of victory. Other times, I’m still holding His hand so tightly that He probably cringes every once in a while. I tell you with all honesty that it is only by the grace of Jesus Christ that I’m even here to write this.
Yes, I struggle with things like fear, insecurity, depression, and resentment. If I tell people I feel insecure, they really don’t believe me. If I tell someone I’m depressed, it seems as if I’m not content or grateful. If I share my feelings of fear, I feel like I’m a complete fraud. There are lonely times, and yet, God uses me.
Here’s the thing. God uses even the weakest and most inept of us for His glory. That’s just the way He works. 1 Corinthians 1:27 says, “But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.”
Look at the story of Moses. I mean, come on! He was used in a mighty way. But look at what Moses said when he was called by God in Exodus 4:10-12, “But Moses pleaded with the Lord, ‘O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.’ Then the Lord asked Moses, ‘Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.’”
Listen, it doesn’t matter who you are or what you have done. If you are in Jesus Christ, He wants to use you to do mighty things! Now, don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying we should sit in our fear, insecurity, depression, resentment, or whatever it is you struggle with. No, we have authority in Christ over the demons in this world. When those things overcome me, I take it to the Lord. I worship Him, read His Word, pray His scripture, and tell Him how I feel (because He really does understand). And then, I let Him do His amazing work in me. The Bible tells us we can, and must, take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5)
We are told in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
Thank you, Jesus, that You are glorified even through my weakness. I praise You that it is through my weaknesses (which are many) that You are made strong. Thank you for Your grace, because it is through Your perfect grace I am made whole! Amen!