We would like to share this guest blog from Tamika Hopkins-Sanders. We thought it would be a perfect fit right before our Fearless Faith event. Thank you, Tamika for sharing your heart so vulnerably.
by Tamika Hopkins-Sanders
This week I was thinking a lot about fear and faith and how you can’t be fearful and have faith at the same time.
I am someone who has struggled with bipolar disorder and depression since I was a child. I have found that the outcome of my depression–for example, becoming homeless with my daughter and feeling alone–has induced a lot of fear in my life. Fear for me has been overwhelming and even disabling. I’m afraid that if I pursue another job, I will just lose it due to my depression and anxiety. But I’m also afraid of being homeless and losing stability again. So where does that leave me? It leaves me feeling very stuck.
I know that my fear is irrational, and I know that it is all over something that hasn’t even happened yet. I also know that if it does happen, it will be the result of being so afraid to take action that I place myself in a bad position. However, that does not stop the fact that I’m living in fear and letting it completely consume me like never before.
Although all of this is very troubling, I can still see God. I know He can see the bigger picture. Maybe I’m not doomed to a life of solitude and pain. I know that God loves me more than I love my child. I know that He wants me to be stable and safe. I know that He is strong where I am weak, and I know that He will get me through this and every other obstacle that may come rear its ugly head in my life. I truly believe that this little light of mine will never completely burn out. For that, I’m grateful.
I’d like to leave you with a few scriptures that help me when I find myself paralyzed with fear.
Romans 15:4: “For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope.”
1 Chronicles 28:20: “David also said to Solomon his son, ‘Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the LORD is finished.'”